I Will Tremble A Prayer
by WickedPiscky
Summary: Jesse and Suz finally let go of all that holds them back. Jesse makes the first move. R for language and maybe sexuality in later chapters. chapter 6 is up!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters Summary: Jesse and Suz finally let go of all that holds them back. Jesse makes the first move. R for language and maybe sexuality in later chapters  
  
This is my first fan fic so be gentle please.. The story takes place in the middle of Haunted, some spoilers.  
  
Chapter 1 (Suz)  
  
Running. Just focus on the running. Don't think about your broken arm lying at your side or the searing pain coming from the gash in your head. Your almost home keep going he won't follow you there. I looked back no one was there. I walked up to the doorstep my parents weren't home, and my brothers where at some party.  
The first thing I did was take a bath. I had music on so it would take my mind off the pain. I touch the wound on my head as I sit in the steam. This kind of wound would mean big trouble for anyone else. Mediators had a nack for getting out of impossible situations alive. I finished my bath. I entered my room in my towel Jesse was sitting there on my bed. I ignored his presence, he was reading. I saw him glance up at me, blush, then look away.  
I grabbed some clothes, went back into the bathroom, dressed then reemerged seconds later. Jesse put his book down. " So what did you do this eve.." He gasped and placed his soft hand on my forehead. "What the hell! Was it him Susannah, tell me I swear give me one good reason to kill him I will." He pulled me into him in a deep hug.  
"No sweat" I said. "It was just a close call"  
" I don't want to lose you." He whispered softly in to my ear. It made me melt. Ever since we kissed he has been treating me like an accident, this was the first time he showed me affection in so long. He cupped my head in his hands and looked me square in the eyes. "I can't lose you" I went in to try and kiss him. I was sick of waiting for him to make the move so I did. He sighed deeply then turned away. Shot Down. Damn.  
"Listen." I had to tell him this before I exploded. I can't take this anymore. I spill my guts. " I can't take this anymore Jesse!" I yell my voice broke a little. Fuck! That always happens when you really wish it wouldn't. " One second your hugging me telling me that you can't lose me, the next your turning away. Jesse I can't do this anymore!"  
"I never meant to hurt you," he says. Oh my god, I want him so bad.  
" Well kissing me and then telling me that it never should have happened is not exactly the most comforting thing in the world."  
"Your right" He stands up and gets closer to me. He is about three inches from my face.  
" I know but Jesse, I just need some.." He pressed his lips against mine catching me totally off guard before I even get the chance to kiss back he pulls away.  
" That wasn't a mistake." He said then we both lunged at each other. I kept my limp arm out of the way, I knew if he noticed he would bring up the whole safety issue again. I had jumped up and my legs were around his waist. He slid his tongue into my mouth and kissed me deeply. I moaned with pleasure, Jesse laughed a little. He placed me down on my bed straddling me in a rather provocative position. He pulled away to breathe and he started to kiss my neck. His lips were so soft they tickled my neck. I giggled lightly before he put his mouth back on mine again. We were like this for a few good minutes my good hand was wandering all over his back urging him to never stop. Then abruptly he did. Stop I mean. He kissed me once more on the lips soft and sweet.  
" Sleep well" He said. He kissed me one last time, then dematerialized mid kiss. ....................................  
  
Really short I know. I'll write more later. Please review; I need to work up the courage to write a better fanfic. 


	2. More To It Than That

Thanks for the review you inspired me to write more ( I do not own finch even though they're an awesome band  
  
Chapter Two ----------- More to It Than That (Suse)  
  
I'm in the shower. It's early. Jesse still isn't back yet from wherever he goes all the time. I am listing to Finch in my stereo and feeling relaxed as hell. While I'm belting out the words to one of the songs I hear Jesse's voice outside the opaque shower curtain. "Susannah?" I let out a little yelp. "Jesse!!!"  
" Oops sorry, I didn't mean to startle you or anything." He can be so cute and proper all the time. I continued to recover from my heart attack. I poked my head out. Jesse was a little surprised. He blushed then turned around.  
" What's up." I said.  
" Oh its just I was making sure it was you." He said quickly, his back still turned  
" I'm usually the only one in my shower Jesse." Psh amateur. I could tell he was shy about the whole me being naked thing  
" I have to talk to you, but um I'll wait until your done."  
" I am done." I said "Can you hand me a towel." He handed my towel, still without looking. Then I paused still looking out of the shower. He sensed I was watching him. He turned around then jumped  
" Oh, I'll just wait for you outside." He hurried out the door. I had to laugh at myself he was actually nervous around me; usually it's the other way around. I was hoping he wasn't going to start telling me that last night was a mistake cause if he did I would have to kill him. again. I dressed then went into my room. Jesse was on the bed petting his cat.  
" You know Jesse that thing only comes around when you're here." The cat continued to purr with pleasure.  
" Yeah." He said seeming dazed there was an awkward silence I laid down on the bed next to him trying not to do anything spastic like bump my head on the wall. The cat jumped off him and went onto the window. " We have to talk about last night" he said. I exhaled. Great. He turned to face me he had a pained look on his face.  
" Jesse this is exactly what I was talking about." I let my head fall in sadness I held back my tears how could he hurt me like this. Again. He held my chin up. He looked strait into my eyes. He was really close to my face, and he held a very blank expression. He was searching in my eyes. It felt as if he was peering into my soul. But it made the pain worse. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I let the tear fall. I tied to put my head down again to hide it. But then Jesse wiped the tear away. He kissed me long and deep. I was a little surprised at first. Then I realized that I jumped to conclusions; Jesse wasn't going to say it was a mistake. I returned the kiss. I showed him the gratitude I felt, I showed every inch of his mouth;) He let out a tiny moan. His hands started to grope a little south. Then he lied down. I was on top, he continued to grope, but hey I wasn't complaining. His hands slid slowly up under my shirt. His hands where pretty warm for a ghost's hands, incredibly soft too. Oh my god here I am with the man of my fucking dreams I thought to myself it cant get much better that this. Then Jesse started to unhook my bra. Holy shit! I never thought he was the forward type. It was the wrong time for this kind of action though. Wait, what the hell was I thinking. When is it the wrong time for an incredibly hot guy to start unhooking your bra? Never. So I let him continue then I realized that it would be pretty hard to take my bra off without taking of my shirt. I think Jesse realized that too cause he stopped after he got to the last hook. He pulled away from our kiss. It was weird. Then I realized he wanted me to take my shirt off then I wasted no time.  
Before I let the bra fall I took Jesse's shirt off. This wasn't as awkward as I though it would be. I was just about to take my bra off when I heard banging at the door. Jesse immediately disappeared. FUCK! "Suse? Are you up yet?" It was my step dad.  
" Yeah." I huffed I refastened my bra and put my shirt on.  
" Breakfast is waiting if you want any." I got up and opened the door .............. sorry about the cliff but my back kills I cant type anymore. Review please cause If you don't I wont keep going. 


	3. Green Eyed Wonder

Thanks to all my reviewers  
  
Chapter 3------ Green Eyed Wonder (part 1) -----  
  
I cracked open the egg yolk. My step dad made them Sunnyside up. I wasn't hungry and I was really irritated with what just happened. We were so close. AHHH! It just drives me absolutely insane. I had to go to school today. That was the only reason I was glad we didn't do what we where going to. I would probably be really weird at school. And I had to keep my guard up. I had to face Paul again after that humiliating meeting we had last night. I cringed thinking about it, and walked away from the table.  
" You all right Suse" asked Doc as I walked away.  
" Yeah I just don't feel like going to school." Which wasn't a lie at all. My arm was still sore, but not at all as bad as it was last night. My head was still bad but I covered it well with a lot of makeup and a dramatic side part. Without the bleeding it was hardly noticeable anyway.  
I wish Jesse Hadn't left. Its not like anyone could see him or anything. I guess that's the problem sometimes; ghosts don't really realize their dead all the time. I packed up all the homework I never finished last night and headed for the door. The boys where behind me. They where on time which was weird considering they where out partying last night. Maybe they where trying to act like they didn't have fun. It wasn't working. They hadn't teased me about my side part just yet, which I thought was strange.  
When we got to school I let out a moan. Why did I come again? This wasn't worth it. I don't usually skip but today it was time. I couldn't face Paul not after what happened. I faked walking in so my brothers wouldn't find out. My efforts where bashed when I practically collided with Paul on my way back out of the mission. "Hello Suse how was your night?" He asked with a smirk on his face. Being around him made me tremble. I tried to hide it but I failed cause Paul walked away laughing. In fact he was walking away from the mission toward the parking lot. Good that meant I didn't have to compromise shit. I was watching Paul walk away laughing. Something caught my eye. It was a little supernatural glow across the road from the mission. Paul seemed not to notice at all. At first I thought it was Jesse, and so I ran towards the ghost. When I got closer I realized It wasn't. It was a girl. She looked a little older than me. She had a rough look about her. Her hair was jet black with streaks of crimson. It was pulled up into a ponytail. She had on a raggedy black skirt, which was really short and looked weird against her lime green fishnet tights. She was also sporting red converse shoes with Blue laces. Her shirt was ripped to reveal her navel and it said, "not real" on it, which I thought, was pretty funny considering the fact that she wasn't technically.  
I must have stared to long because She noticed and rushed over to me. As she got closer I realized that she had mesmerizing green eyes. "HOLY SHIT!!!" ...............................  
  
I know even shorter than the others. And no fluff. Stick with this one though; a really good plot is about to unfold. And I promise another update tomorrow. I have to write a paper tonight, so I couldn't finish this chapter and I don't want to end it here. I'll have the update by 6 tomorrow or you can flame me! 


	4. It Was Me

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I had a little too much fun with my freedom. I ended up getting shit for grades so I'm confined. So that means more updates! I think the format of this might be really screwed up so bear with me............  
  
Chapter 4- It Was Me  
  
"HOLY SHIT." I gasped. I was looking at me! I couldn't believe it. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. I still saw me. And I was getting closer. Whoa! I've seen weird I mean ghosts come on. But nothing could have ever prepared me for this. She was within hearing distance now so I said, "Who the hell are you and why the hell do you look like me." She stood there, and sized me up. She cringed.  
  
" I hardly look like you." She said smiling. I just stood there. I was shocked what can I say. " Here I'll explain later." She grabbed me and *poof* I was in my room. This was too much for me to take. I turned to her/me fists raised.  
  
" I want to know what the fuck is going on." I was panting. This was scaring me.  
  
" Sit down, this is going to be a lot to take." I did as she asked. I knew it was pointless to argue with myself, not to mention creepy. "Okay." she took a deep breath, paused and then spoke again. "I am you." I was so confused.  
  
"What?"  
  
" I am you, in the future." My jaw dropped. The future right, I wasn't buying it.  
  
" Prove it." I folded my arms and smirked at her. She was so pissed  
  
" Fine in about 10 seconds Father Dom is going to call here to find out where you are." I tapped my feet.  
  
" Looks like your wrong."  
  
" 3.2.1.." The phone rang. I jumped a foot in the air, and then grabbed the phone. I heard Father Dominic on the other end.  
  
"Susannah? Why aren't you at school? Are you feeling okay? Did anything happen?" He sounded panicked. I looked over at my future self; she was looking through one of Jesse's books.  
  
"Yeah I guess you could say that."  
  
" What do you mean, what are you talking about?" He was extremely urgent.  
  
" I'll explain later. I have to go. I'll call you back." I hung up before he could protest.  
  
" That's Jesse's." I said. She was smiling.  
  
" Where is he." She asked  
  
" Around, I don't really know where he goes." I was getting a little uneasy. It was really freaky hearing your voice come from another person.  
  
" Can you call him for me he really needs to hear this too." I didn't want to ask questions. So I did as she asked. I had only done this a few times and I was really hoping it would work. I focused on Jesse. He appeared with his back facing me. His front faced my future self. She jumped up as soon as she saw him and hugged him really tight. Jesse seemed shocked but I couldn't see his face. He held her for a second. Then pushed slightly her away.  
  
"What's with the look?" He sized her up. Oh I get it he thinks I'm her. Well duh.  
  
" I'm over here." He turned around. His eyes widened immediately. He looked back at her then back at me. He had the most confused look. I had never seen Jesse look confused before.  
  
"I'm her future self." My twin said. Jesse jumped in front of me.  
  
"No this is just a trick. Prove it" Before I could reassure him. She locked lips. He kissed her back. Hey what the hell, future me was kissing my Jesse. I didn't really know how to react. Good thing she stopped cause I was not going to let that continue. Jesse turned to me.  
  
" She's not lying she is you." Wow. I huffed and slammed down on my bed.  
  
" I could have told you that." I huffed. She was smiling behind him. I never thought I could be so pissed at myself. UHH! This was really messed up. Jesse sat down next to me so that we where both facing my future self.  
  
"Can I continue now." She said still smiling. I was about ready to smack that smile off her face. But then again she is me so maybe it was okay. Once again confusing.  
  
" Yeah." Jesse looked just as confused as I was.  
  
" Okay" she began. " The reason why I am here is to warn you." She took another deep breath "I came to warn you about what is going to happen." She stopped again. The suspense was killing me.  
  
"What's going to happen?" I half yelled. ................................ Yeah I know it sucked but hey I'm trying to develop a plot here. I'll try to work some fluff into the next chapter. I will update soon. 


	5. Farthest thing from my mind

Thank you for reviewing. Sorry if the format of this comes out really messed up.  
  
***Chapter 5 ___ farthest thing from my mind***  
  
"Its Paul." She said.  
  
"Yeah he's an asshole we know." I said remembering all to well the night before. I shuddered. It was really close yesterday. I knew I should have never of went to him for help. Last night, I went to Paul so that he could train me. It turned out that he had something else in mind; he wanted to throw some sexual advances. So naturally I kneed him all so severely in the balls. This didn't go over well with him and that's when he whacked me into the wall. I broke the wall with my head, hence the gushing wound from last night. Then my I fell from the wall and landed just right on my arm. I got up and ran, without even looking at him. I know he's no good. He's too much of a threat. Just then I again realized how much I could really use his help.  
  
"Its more than that." She sat down on the bed and held her head in her hands. Then she looked me dead in the face with tears in her eyes and says, "He really fucks us over. Literally"  
  
"You mean you, I mean I, I mean we actually." I couldn't bear even the thought of it.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Know way, I mean how? Why?" I was so seriously disturbed by this thought. I mean Paul. He's a psycho that almost killed Jesse, well not necessarily killed but. you know what I mean.  
  
"Well over the course of a couple months he cooled down a little. And well I tried again. I tried to get some sort of training. I was just using him for information at first." She broke off. Jesse was sitting on the bed next to her staring off into space. He looked really hurt. I really didn't get it.  
  
"I don't get it."  
  
"Well after a few training sessions and a couple of nights out he became not so bad. Then a few more training sessions later Jesse found out that I was going to him for training, and well its complicated. I can only tell you what you need to know. Jesse kind of wigged out really bad. He was gone for a couple of weeks without a trace. One night when I went to Paul's to train I was really upset because I started to think that he was really gone. I was kind of mad at him for just leaving. Paul was comforting me and believe it or not I actually made the first move. Paul didn't object so."  
  
She seemed like she just had the world lifted off her shoulders. I felt like shit because that load decided to come chill on my back. It was so much to take. I actually had sex with Paul. I suddenly was really curious about what Jesse thought about this. He was still staring at the same spot. His was face expressionless. It must hurt. I mean even though I didn't do it yet, just the fact that the idea was there must hurt him. I wanted to apologize or something, but how can you apologize for something you haven't actually done yet. It all seemed unreal. I would have never thought in a million years, I mean that is the last person I ever thought. It was just to mind blowing.  
  
"How far in the future are you exactly?" Jesse said. I wish I knew what he was thinking.  
  
"About six months." His face fell. He looked so hurt. I just couldn't take it.  
  
"Why are you telling us this?" I stood up. I could hear my voice breaking. I just stared at the floor, afraid that if I looked up I would see Jesse's face and then I would no longer be able to hold back the tears.  
  
"Because the second he got our trust he stabbed up in the back." She looked really serious. I wondered if it actually took me this long to say something.  
  
"Can you just cut the crap and tell me what happened exactly!" god this was killing me. Standing there and bearing Jesse was killing me. I needed this to be over.  
  
"Well he used us to get to Jesse." Shit. I bet she hasn't even gotten to the worst of it yet. "We trusted him. So the day Jesse got back. Paul exorcised him."  
  
"Yeah but he's done it before and we all came out okay."  
  
"Yeah buts that's the thing with Paul he never makes the same mistake twice." My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. "This time he did something different, he sort of traded Jesse with something else." She paused and took another deep breath. She shuddered and the spoke again, " Jesse was gone forever, and in his place was the most terrible spirit." She stopped again. After she said that Jesse was gone forever her voice broke. Jesse reached out and hugged her. She was crying in his arms. She looked him in the eyes. "Jesse, I am so sorry. I tried everything I could to save you. I didn't even get a chance to see you one last time before it happened." She hugged him close.  
  
"Paul and this spirit began to destroy everything that was close to us. I couldn't stop them, I was a lot stronger yes but not nearly powerful enough." Her head fell. " Right before I came here I held Father Dominic in my arms. Dead. Mom had died a few weeks before that." She wiped a tear from her eyes. I had stopped trying to hide my tears. They where streaming down my face. I can't believe all of this actually happened.  
  
"How do I stop this from happening." I was determined now that I was given the chance, to turn everything around.  
  
"That's why I came here." She looked in my eyes with an inner strength. "I'm going to train you with what Paul taught me. Together we can beat him, and if he doesn't get the chance to bring back that spirit than we'll be that much stronger. She looked lovingly at Jesse. He stood up and said,  
  
"Well what the hell are we waiting for."  
  
*** Good plot developing sucks. I promise the next chapter will have lots of fluff 


	6. You bought yourself a second chance

*Fluff! Yaay! More fluff. I know Finally!  
  
Chapter 6 _____ you bought yourself a second chance  
  
For some odd reason I felt so high. on life of course! I got a second chance on one of the most important things. I got a second chance to save Jesse's life. He was sitting there across the room from me on my bed deep in though as usual.  
  
He didn't look as melancholic as yesterday, which put me in an oddly bold mood. I went over and sat next to him. He snapped out of his trance and smiled. I put my hand on his shoulder. He kissed me softly. Oh it had been far to long since I tasted him. I deepened the kiss quickly. His hands were roaming he lifted up my shirt. Sweet we're starting right where we left off. I let him pull off my shirt.  
  
You're probably wondering where the other me was while this was happening. She was out getting "ready" for our first training session. She had been gone all morning. My parents were still away.  
  
I wasted no time in getting his shirt off. I grazed his chest with my hand. He got a little chill then laughed. He hasn't laughed in so long. He laid me down on the bed. He kissed me hard and long. He started kissing my neck. He was so gentle. His lips grazed my ear and I actually giggled.  
  
He made a trail of kisses down my chest to my stomach flicking his tongue. He kissed me deep again. He rolled me over him. His hands lingered at my shoulders then slowly they wandered to my bra. He unhooked it carefully. I got up and let it fall away.  
  
Now both of us bare chested where melding into each other. It was like I was a part of him. I undid his jeans and slid them off. He undid mine and I let them slide away. As my body lay down upon his he let out a little moan. I could feel his pleasure. literally.  
  
I let my thoughts wander. Do ghosts need protection? Could I get anything from a ghost. could he even...you know. I had never really thought this out. Maybe I should. He pulled a blanket over us. He sensed my uneasiness and stopped.  
  
"Are you okay?" He panted. He was breathing pretty damn heavy. "Do you want to stop?" His eyes where so reassuring.  
  
"It's just umm. I don't get the technicalities of this." I actually managed to not sound like an airhead. This is what he does to me. " I mean do we need protection or anything. I mean I never really thought about it." By the look on Jesse's face he never thought about it either.  
  
"Crap you're right. I mean I don't even know if I can. you know." He calmed down and wrapped me in his arms. "We'll figure things out and do this another time." We lay there half naked for a long time. I eventually fell asleep in Jesse's warmth.  
  
I woke up from the sound of banging on the door. I was in Jesse's arms. I heard my brother David's voice. "Suze are you in there?" Jesse panicked and then shimmered away. Damn!  
  
"Yeah." I got dressed.  
  
"I made breakfast if you want any." He said.  
  
"Yeah I'll be down in a second." Jesse was back. He stood fully clothed in the corner. He closed the space between us. His kiss was deep as usual.  
  
"I gotta go find your twin." He kissed me again, and then disappeared.  
  
*Whew. Was that enough fluff, or too much come on I need some input. I wont write the next chapter unless I get a few more reviews. I have the feeling no ones actually reading this. 


	7. It's About Damn Time

A/N: Wow thank you guys so much for reviewing I really apprecatie it.. Everyone rocks expescailly my fellow AFI fans!! Anyway without further delay ( I mean its been like a year... SORRY!!) Here We Go...

CHAPTER 7 It's About Damn Time

I sat at the table eating my breakfast just thinking about what happened. "Jesse is so hot," I thought to myself.

"What did you say?" Asked doc from the other end of the table. My other two step brothers failed to notice _anything_. But thats usally the case their too focused on chicks and sleep to pay attention to_ anything_.

I walked into my room. Jesse and the twin were already there discussing something intently. Dammit! That girl really needs to back the hell of, or at least cool it. I can't just stand by and...

"It's about damn time!" Said my twin, interrupting my thoughts

"You're the one who took so damn long." I retorted. "Where were you BFE or what?"

"Don't waste my time missy, I don't have much left." I ignored the last part.

"MISSY!" That's it! Im gonna try really hard to not be her in the future. My fists were clenched at my sides. She had her hands on her hips and was tapping her massive combat boot clad foot. Jesse sensed the tension and jumped in.

"Hey, cool it girls. We don't need any fights." He was right. "Susannah." He said as he cupped my face in his hand and looked me square in the eye. "You need to focus on the task at hand you need to learn all there is to learn in a really short amount of time. So focus ok. For me.."

Boy he sure has a way of getting his point across doesn't he. I sat down on the bed and looked at my twin. "Ok lets get this started."

"Ok first stop is the gym we need to whip you into shape." She said to me. Shape? I has plenty of shape. Im perfectly happy with my shape.

"How will we get there. I don't have a car." I said foiling her plan.

"What's the point of driving to the gym... we're walking." she said with sickening pride.

"Walking!" I gasped.

"Yeah and that's just the warm up..." yeah yeah yeah. She not too tough I can handle this. I looked over at Jesse. He was looking at me to. He winked. He made my heart melt.. Corny as it sounds its true. I realized then that I would do anything within my power to do to keep Jesse here with me. So I decided that I would listen to my mentor. We left Jesse to explain everything to father Dom.

A/N: I know it was short.. Really short but I will update again tomorrow. Peace. Thanks again


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